Jemima Jones - I love U. I want to be you.

I feel so guilty. I promised myself that today I AM GOING TO STUDY. However, I was so caught up with "Jemima Jones", every page just kept motivating me to read on to see what happen next. God, this author (Jane-Green) is bloody awesome!

You know what, I just cant believe that this time, my diet (slimming plans) didn't stop half way. Okay~ Well, here and then I did munched on chips, I did drank carbonated drinks, I did eat a bar.. er.. bars of chocolate. But hey, I really manage to cut down on food. On top of that, I really did exercise! But, is never enough. Maybe because beneath my so-called slim body, I still think I am the old Timmy - The fat little girl back in Primary School. The lil girl who often got teased and no friends to play with. The reason I strived hard to become the so-called acceptable body range is to fit in this freaking stereotype minded society. *Gulps* If you know me, you would just say.. "Thats enough, you are already thin, no more fats to loose". Sorry to dissappoint you, I think I still got chunks of meat to throw away. Yes, I took it for granted back then (after I slim down x) ), I used to wear a 25/26 inch waistline. Now I am a XX ? My M-sized clothes changes to a L-size? I am so noticeable till comments such as: Hey, you've gotten chubbier"? No way, I ain't wanna be back old lil Tim.

Is actually quite true that physical appearance (may) determine your fortune. Plus, I am striving hard to loose MORE WEIGHT, after reading "Skin Deep" and "Jemima Jones". Those characters in the books reinforce my motivation to shed off fats.

Guys judge beauties, Employer judge your looks, Passer-by checks out your body, Bitches judges your chothes.  Everywhere we go, there will be impressionS forming.

I realised that when few days ago...

Random Senior: Hey Tim
Me: Ya? Hello
Random Senior: Are you feeling sick or something?
Me: Nope, I am fine
Random Senior: Oh~ Hey why you dressed so... er.... from "home"?
Me: I like being comfortable.

See that? Because you want to be comfortable, you dressed slightly baggy, still conforming the dress codes, but, some random people will walk up to you to give you UNECESSARY COMMENTS. Still, the society is the one making people like me.. want to be pretty, well-groomed, slim, gorgeous, sexy, classy. You name it.

It drives a casual, fashion clueless, blah blah blah people like me... to.. want to.. PROVE YOU WRONG THAT... you have NOT SEE THE OTHER SIDE OF ME. Grrr... Sigh? In the end, what do I have to show? Flabs and Chunks of meat? Hahahaha.

Anyway, I guess I wont change much. Then again, why must I change because of your expectations? But, to prove you wrong.. Miss XXXXX and others... I will to emerge from my comfort shell to show you my dynamite. Then.. You guys will FINALLY SHUT UP.