Moments of thoughts

Firstly, I would like to say that the post on my birthday celebration will be posted in the next update. That will be a jovial and happy post to read about. But now, I would like to blog something probably more of emo/serious matter.

Sometimes, I felt that as if I did the right thing but it ended up worst. For some situation, I thought that somehow my decision was right, but I ended up hurting people's feelings. I supposed that when it come to certain situation, I am a coward to stand up for my rights, letting history to be rewrite and replay again. Allowing myself to feel pity and guilty and sobbed over my wrong-doings.
Bravery wasn't in my nature at all. I often escape from problems and try to stay put in my very own comfort zone. Probably thats why I never learn my mistakes, I never know what my problems are, because I am the one that always creates it.

I recalled Pastor David once said that We Must Always Hear What God is Trying to Say, but Hearing itself is Not Enough, We must Act it Out. The He gave an example of taking swimming lessons. Even though we knew the techniques of how to swim but we dont apply it, it will be pointless. It is equivalent to a scene where you will drown if you don't apply what you've learnt. However, I felt that listening to what God say is hard at times because I am always bounded by temptations. Plus, how would I know if that was really God's message?

On top of that, how to forgive and forget about people who have hurt you over and over again? I tried reminding myself for whatever reason a situation occured, God have HIS purpose. A TEST he gave to test what we learnt from him as a disciple so far. I think I failed miserably. I dont know the reason neither.

At times, I felt that I am dumb to trust people that all the bad things about them gossiped by people are not true. Reality, after being a victim, experiencing hurt, anger, sad feelings, that these people causes us to experienced, only then I came to realised I WAS TOO NAIVE.

Along this journey, I do learnt something. Not everyone you are able to trust. Things changes according to time, so as human beings. The attitudes, characteristics, values of a person changes from now and then. It is undeniable right?

I want to add that woman are not sex slave. We are unique individuals. I dont understand why man dont perceived woman as HUMAN. Some guys just like to blab out how they HAD FUN with their gf. This is another form of not respecting woman's right. Sexual Harrasment often occured because guys believed that woman are weak and are not able to defend themselves.
I hate guys who act like this. I despised them.
Why cant they take into account about woman's FEELINGS?

Sometimes, I wonder why am I living  here. When we are born, we have no anger, sad feelings. But after we adapt or grew up in this environment only we know what ANGER, SAD, DISAPPOINTMENT feels like. So why and what is the purpose of all these?
Then, what is the point of living when you knew that sooner or later you are leaving?

I wonder until now, what i've done in my life.. is it right or wrong. Because life always have two options. Two roads.. either a YES or a NO. If you've made an option saying Yes to someting, from that split second it changes your pathway, the other option that is not considered will died off. We cant turn back time cant we? There is only moving on.

Now, am I ready to move on to face my situations? I guessed so. I am ready.